David Pemberthy had never quite known where he fit in in society.

In an earlier earlier life, David had been known as David Corby and worked as an accountant at a small firm on the Gold Coast while living with his parents. An otherwise boring, mediocre little man, David's life was shattered when his sister was caught smuggling drugs into a third world paradise. Fearing that the police would raid the family home and find his collection of torrented Cabbage Patch Kids episodes (what was he supposed to do? he couldn't buy them on DVD!), David changed his name and fled to Thailand. And so began David's second life.

At the tender age of 31, David discovered that he was irresistible to the women in Thailand (at least until he stopped buying them expensive clothes), and had sex for the very first time. And he liked it!

David decided that this life in Thailand was for him. After spending nine months on a rampage through Bangkok's less salubrious establishments, and seeing more breasts, penises, and chickens than he could count (he ran out of fingers after 10), he settled down and opened a bar with three of his favourite wives. In the seedy world of south east asia David learnt the arts of subterfuge and intimidation, better known as blackmail, and developed a good eye through countless hours perched on a bar stool at the local ping pong show. He knows just about everyone in town, and has all sorts of connections to what the overseas press would call "local crime figures", but unfortunately none of them really like him.

Unfortunately for David, while on one of his many jaunts to Cambodia, his three wives left him for a Mexican with deep pockets and took his life savings with them. David was forced to drug muling to cover his rent, but on flight QF 412 from Phuket to Coolangatta the condom split and so ended David's second life.

David was summonsed back to the world of the living by the faceless disembodied voice of Allah, who implores him to life a life of austerity and abstain from worldly pleasures. David could get on board with this, except he's finally arrived back in Australia and is desperate to find his teenaged sweetheart. On the plus side, his syphilis seems to have cleared up!

David's keystone is a prayer mat, which he uses as an excuse to get down on the ground and try to look up ladies' skirts more than anything else.

David's specialties are bargaining, shamelessness and disease resistance.